Hello God.
Hello Edward.
I’m stuck.
Good.
Why is stuck good?
Because it gives you an opportunity to become unstuck.
Why not just stay unstuck to begin with?
Great question. What’s the answer?
Nope, I’m not going there.
Where?
Down that tangent. It sounds interesting but I’m here for a very specific reason.
And what would that be?
To get unstuck.
Good. Let’s get the WD-40 out and get to work.
Hello God.
Hello Edward.
I’m stuck.
Good.
Why is stuck good?
Because it gives you an opportunity to become unstuck.
Why not just stay unstuck to begin with?
Great question. What’s the answer?
Nope, I’m not going there.
Where?
Down that tangent. It sounds interesting but I’m here for a very specific reason.
And what would that be?
To get unstuck.
Good. Let’s get the WD-40 out and get to work.
Ok. All day, and part of yesterday, I’ve been closed down, negative, and angry. I feel like I’m being ruled by this part of me that feels Melissa is my enemy. I can’t see her as a friend, let alone as my life partner. I don’t know how to shift, how to change perspective, how to reconnect with another part of me that loves her. I need some help.
Well you’ve come to the right place.
I know. As soon as I decided to come into the office to have a talk with you I felt my energy get lighter.
Good. Now, as for the stuckness, can you breathe into it?
Now I can. Before I couldn’t. I couldn’t get a breath past my solar plexus.
Well, before doesn’t matter. I’m interested in what’s happening right now. Breathe.
There’s still a tightness in my solar plexus, almost a fiery spot, but I can breathe past it.
Good. What else do you notice?
Tightness in my belly. And this is interesting, as soon as I said that, the constriction in my solar plexus got more intense again.
Good. Just keep noticing. We’re not shifting anything yet. We’re just exploring for the moment.
Ok. There’s also tension in my throat. It feels like a lump of something is stuck in there.
Good. What else?
Well strangely, I feel fairly grounded even though all of this is happening.
Why is that strange?
I have this, apparently erroneous, belief that if I’m well grounded I’m somewhat immune to these types of energetic experiences.
Ah, but here’s the rub. When you are well grounded you can be fairly well protected from outside energy. But being well grounded does not protect you from energy that is already inside your system.
That makes sense. Actually, I would imagine that the more grounded I get the more likely it will be that disharmonious energy in my system will start to come up in order to be cleared.
Exactly.
And that’s what is happening now?
Exactly.
Well that feels a bit better. And it also explains why I didn’t feel any better after doing separations with everyone I could think of.
Right. So let’s continue exploring just a bit more. See if you can find all of the sneaky places where this energy is hiding.
Well so far I’ve found it in my solar plexus and my belly and my throat. It’s also in the back of my neck. It feels like it’s also hiding in my joints, especially my ankles, knees and wrists. And, while it’s very well hidden, trying to do it’s best not to show itself, I feel it hiding in my heart.
Indeed. Good. Now shall we see what this energy has to teach you.
What could this energy have to teach me?
That’s what you’re about to find out. Breathe into it and open to its lesson for you.
I’m having a hard time accepting the fact that this energy could have anything that would be of benefit to me. And even as I say that, I recognize that I’m going back into the emotional space I was in earlier. That resistance is actually that part of me, that energy speaking, isn’t it?
Bingo.
Ok. Can you help me. I’m still feeling a bit stuck. This energy feels overwhelming, overpowering. I feel like if I open to it, even just to find out what it has to teach me, that I might get stuck in it again.
Of course I will help you. I always help you. Just breathe and I will be there with you.
Thank you. I’m going to go lie down for a moment to do this.
Great.
It’s sacred space.
Go on.
This energy inside me is where I’m holding the resentment and anger and frustration that I was never shown how to create sacred space and that my space was not respected. I was not given the tools of self worth necessary to form a strong sense of my own sacred space. And this energy that I am now sensing, pushes me to forcibly create space for myself. But the space that it wants to create is not sacred. It might be safe, or it might feel safe, but it’s not sacred. It’s not respectful – of myself or of others.
Tell me more.
The space that this part of me attempts to create is heavily fortified, guarded, protected. It is hard and cold. It’s a space that closes out the outside world because it is not safe, not welcoming. It is space created within a belief system of unworthiness. The foundation of worth and value was never laid within me. And without that foundation it feels impossible to create true sacred space for myself.
And what happens when you recognize this?
There is a lot of anger, and I sense some sadness, although the anger is mostly drowning that out in this moment. There is a part of me that wants to go into victim mode – well that part of me is already there. It wants to blame Joan and my parents for not providing me with the foundation needed to create sacred space. And there’s a part of me that just wants to run away and be alone and learn to create sacred space in solitude. The thought of learning how to do it in relationship, in the real world feels overwhelming.
So I’d like you to breathe again. And as you breathe, begin to connect again with this energy, with this part of you that has held this anger and sadness and frustration for all of these years. And as you breathe, see if you can find gratitude for this part of you. See if you can awaken a sense of appreciation for this part of you that has carried this burden for you.
Yes. I feel that. This part of me took on this burden and went into hiding. It has carried the weight of this anger and frustration so that it would not come exploding out into the world. This part of me absolutely deserves my respect and gratitude.
Yes. And what else?
What do you mean?
What else does it deserve?
It deserves sacred space.
Yes!
How do I do that? How do I create sacred space for it?
You open a space of welcome within yourself. Instead of banishing this energy, or pushing it away, you embrace it, you allow it to come home to a sacred space.
I feel the conflicting presence of opening and resistance to this process. I feel this part of me integrating within my system, and I also feel the deep-rooted resistance of old beliefs and patterns. I think this will take some time. But in this moment I feel much more calm, much more complete in my own space.
Good.
Ok. I’m going to post this now, and then go home. I feel like I can be slightly more human in my interactions with Melissa now. She’ll appreciate that.
I believe she will.
Thank you for your help God.
You are, as always, very welcome Edward.
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