Good morning God.
Good morning Edward.
I’d like to talk with you about my life vision.
Great. That sounds juicy.
Well, yes, it is, or could be, if I would allow it to be.
What do you mean?
Well, I feel like I have this belief that I can’t have a juicy life vision. Whenever I start visioning about it, I get sidetracked. I start thinking about how it can’t happen, or all the logistical steps needed to get there, or the “who do I think I am to have such a life” voice. It’s so weird. I get it on an intellectual level – that I CAN have a really cool and juicy life – but on a body, mind, feeling, energy level I get stuck. Now, with that said, the work I’m doing with Drew seems to have really helped me take this awareness to a deeper level. I think I’m getting it more fully. And that’s why I want to talk with you about it.
Good morning God.
Good morning Edward.
I’d like to talk with you about my life vision.
Great. That sounds juicy.
Well, yes, it is, or could be, if I would allow it to be.
What do you mean?
Well, I feel like I have this belief that I can’t have a juicy life vision. Whenever I start visioning about it, I get sidetracked. I start thinking about how it can’t happen, or all the logistical steps needed to get there, or the “who do I think I am to have such a life” voice. It’s so weird. I get it on an intellectual level – that I CAN have a really cool and juicy life – but on a body, mind, feeling, energy level I get stuck. Now, with that said, the work I’m doing with Drew seems to have really helped me take this awareness to a deeper level. I think I’m getting it more fully. And that’s why I want to talk with you about it.
Good. Let’s talk.
Ok. So I’d like to do some visioning with you. I’d like to play with some ideas about how I’d like my life to look and see what comes up in the process.
Great.
And even before we start, I just got an important piece: Part of why I’m having trouble visioning the logistics/schedule part of my life is because I’m not letting myself get juicy. Sure I can go ahead and say, I want to work with clients 3-days a week and 3-weeks a month, blah blah blah. But why do I want to do that? What is so compelling in the rest of my life that would motivate me to do the work necessary to create that life?
Great question. And this is a question that touches on every aspect of your life.
Yes, you’re right. I have a tendency to live on autopilot, without connecting with the underlying desire. That’s why I think I tend to run out of fuel on projects. I haven’t tapped in to the real motivating force.
Yes. That’s it. So here we are in this moment of truth, going on an expedition to discover the underlying force, the passion that lives inside of you. What is it? What do you find?
Well, it’s all about me. I think this is the first time that I’ve been clear that my purpose, my passion revolves around my personal evolution. It’s difficult to say that. It feels selfish. But that’s the truth. I want to create a life where I am free to continuously and actively pursue evolutionary activities.
Why is that selfish?
I guess it sounds selfish to me because I’ve always lived within this belief that my job was/is to take care of everybody else. My needs and desires have always come after everyone else gets taken care of.
And what have you been telling many of your clients this week, coincidentally speaking?
Well I’ve talked with several clients about how they can’t take care of anyone else effectively if they don’t first take care of themselves.
Yes. So tell me, how does it feel to acknowledge that your passion is connected to your personal evolution?
It feels freeing. It feels authentic. It feels real. In some ways I feel like I’ve been trying to find a purpose and passion based on what I see other people pursuing – money, fame, security, whatever – and that’s not what I’m looking for. Yes, those things would be great. Certainly money is a necessary part of my life vision, for it enables me to pursue my personal evolution freely. But that’s not the source of my passion. That’s a by-product.
Exactly. So tell me a bit about what the life you are creating around this purpose looks like.
Well, there is lots of time for me to engage in evolutionary activities. In my vision, I take two full months off each year, to go on retreat, and to integrate, and to connect with those close to me. I have one week off each month to write and process and share what I’m learning. I have time each morning to write and meditate and, again, share what I’m learning. I’m constantly offering myself as a resource to others, making myself visible in the world so that those who might learn from my journey have that opportunity. And this is important: I’m getting out in nature a lot! Much more than I am now. At least one long hike each week, and at least one shorter walk in nature. And I’m exercising everyday. This is still a bit unclear, but I think I see myself living someplace else for part of the year, someplace where I am living IN nature. I think that’s it.
Nice. I’d like to live that life.
You will.
I know. So how can I help you get there?
I think it would be helpful to have you remind me periodically that it’s possible, that it’s ok, and that it’s actually good for everyone, not just me.
I can do that, but what if it’s not good for everyone, at least not in the way you’re thinking?
What do you mean?
Well, what if, in order to create this life vision, it required you to, spend more time away from your family than they would like?
Ah, I see what you’re saying. If it’s good for me is it good for everyone, even if it doesn’t seem like it is?
That’s one way of putting it.
I think that, ultimately, what is good for me is good for everyone. But there is one caveat: the good piece must be good from a place of authentic, integrity. If I saw a beautiful woman walking down the street and decided it would be good for me to have an affair with her, that would not be a very authentic place and it would serve only to hurt those close to me with very little, if any positive results. If, on the other hand, I was very clear that in order to feed my soul I needed to take a month-long retreat away from my family, while it might hurt those close to me, ultimately, the deeper connection I make to myself would serve to bring us closer together.
Yes. Good. I believe you get it.
I do get it. I also recognize the danger inherent in making those types of decisions. There is always a fine line between doing what feels right from a surface, ego-based perspective, and what is right from a deep soul-based place.
That is, indeed, one of the most important and difficult things to discover. And part of your personal evolution will revolve around refining that decision making process until the day you decide to leave this body.
I see that. And there is something ultimately freeing about that. Because when you tell me that, it means that I don’t have to get it right every time from this moment forward. Part of my evolutionary process is around figuring it out, which means that I may, occasionally make a mistake, or make a decision that does not come from my deeper soul place. Somehow knowing that seems to take some of the pressure off.
Good. You have a tendency to put a bit too much pressure on yourself.
You’ve noticed that too?
Once or twice.
Well this feels good. I’m going to spend a few minutes offline, drafting a plan for my work schedule that begins to head me in the direction of my vision. Would you like to see it when I’m done?
Sure.
Ok. I’ll check back with you later today, or tomorrow.
I’ll be here.
Great. Thank you.
You’re very welcome.
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