Good morning God.
Good morning Edward.
I’d like to talk about being seen this morning.
Sounds interesting.
Yes. It is. It’s interesting that it’s so difficult to allow ourselves to be really seen.
What do you mean?
Well, I just sent out ILC-Inspire yesterday. And this issue seems to have struck a chord with people. I’ve gotten wonderful, positive feedback from lots of people. And I’m feeling a great, dark, heaviness within me. It feels like a part of me is fighting to hold onto the anonymity I’ve hidden within for so long. It’s as if this part of me is completely unwilling to acknowledge this sense of being seen. Am I being clear?
Yes. And I feel the resistance.
Good morning God.
Good morning Edward.
I’d like to talk about being seen this morning.
Sounds interesting.
Yes. It is. It’s interesting that it’s so difficult to allow ourselves to be really seen.
What do you mean?
Well, I just sent out ILC-Inspire yesterday. And this issue seems to have struck a chord with people. I’ve gotten wonderful, positive feedback from lots of people. And I’m feeling a great, dark, heaviness within me. It feels like a part of me is fighting to hold onto the anonymity I’ve hidden within for so long. It’s as if this part of me is completely unwilling to acknowledge this sense of being seen. Am I being clear?
Yes. And I feel the resistance.
It’s like a drug. I feel drugged out. I just want to go lay down and sleep. But I don’t want to give in to it. I don’t want to go back into that place of being hidden. I want to move through this resistance and allow myself to be seen, fully and truly as I am. With all my gifts and all my foibles.
Amen.
I need your help.
You have my help. Always.
Just hearing you say that allowed me to release a huge amount of that energy. I felt it peel away, and underneath the drugged out feeling there was and still is, a huge well of sadness.
Yes.
What do I do with it, God?
You cry.
I feel like I’ve cried enough in this life for 10 lifetimes. Can I really have that much sadness within me?
Yes you can. And you know very well that you can carry sadness for others, that you can absorb the sadness of others.
I know that. Are you saying that this sadness is not all mine?
You are at a point in your life where you are redefining your boundaries. You are discovering that your existing methods of perceiving where “you” begin and end may not be valid. So in the process of exploring that new territory it makes complete sense that you would find yourself caught up in other people’s emotions.
Well that’s quite an interesting little snippet to just drop in to our conversation. And I just don’t even want to go there right now. What I do want is to know why being seen is so darn complicated. You would think it would be the most natural thing in the world. It IS the most natural thing in the world. I watch Ella and she has absolutely no problem being seen exactly as herself. What happened along the way, God? Why have I made it so hard?
Is that really the question you want to ask?
No. I already know the answer to that question. And that’s a question that continues to pull me back into the past and keeps me mired in the smoke and mirror of self-preservation. No, the question I want to ask, is, how do I shift this? How do I step fully into the spotlight of my existence?
I think you just discovered the answer.
Wow, that metaphor was very powerful for me. I could feel my entire body get how invested I’ve been in hiding from that spotlight. I also get that you’re holding the other end of the light. That spotlight is Your light. For me it’s shifting from the perception that the light is a searchlight looking for an escaped convict, to a spotlight waiting for a star to step out onto the stage.
Yes, I have been shining my light onto the stage of your life, waiting for you to step into it.
Is it really that simple? Is it really just like stepping up onto the stage and into the spotlight of your light?
It really is that simple. Is it easy? Think back to the first time you performed on stage. How did you feel?
Terrified.
Is there any difference between how you felt then and how you feel now?
I’ve certainly been terrified of stepping into your light. But I feel now that I’m beginning to understand it there is a bit less fear.
Good. Because you deserve to stand in the spotlight. Your gifts are meant to be shared with others. And. So is everyone else. There is a stage and a spotlight waiting for each and every one of you. And as more of you step into the light, you show others that it is safe. And, more than safe, that it is where you are meant to be. What I want for you, all of you, more than anything else, is to have you live your life continuously bathed in the light of my love. I want you to know, always that you are, indeed, a star, a gift to the world. I want you to shine into the world like a beacon to those lost in the fog.
I want that also, God. But it feels so daunting.
It is not daunting, because there is nothing that you have to “DO.” Except…you must choose to step up onto that stage and allow my light to shine upon you. I cannot make you do that. Only you can make that choice. But once you are there, there is nothing more that must happen. Once you are in my light, everything you do, everything becomes a beacon.
I feel a great sense of peace as you speak. It is as if, within that light there is no longer the pressure to produce. I am truly free to just be.
Exactly. And that is how you are meant to be. Free. Calm. Peaceful. And Bright.
I want this.
And I want this for you.
Will you help me?
Of course.
Thank you God.
You are so very welcome.
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