03/08/06 - Resisting Purpose

Hello God

Hello Edward.

Ok. So what is up with me? Why when I start stepping more fully into my purpose, and offer something that feels really aligned with who I truly am, do I often have a big energetic crash afterwards?

You tell me.

That’s helpful.

Not in a playful mood right now?

Not especially.

Tell me about the crash.

I feel deflated, defused, exhausted, resistant…

Stop there. Tell me about the resistant feeling.

Hello God

Hello Edward.

Ok. So what is up with me? Why when I start stepping more fully into my purpose, and offer something that feels really aligned with who I truly am, do I often have a big energetic crash afterwards?

You tell me.

That’s helpful.

Not in a playful mood right now?

Not especially.

Tell me about the crash.

I feel deflated, defused, exhausted, resistant…

Stop there. Tell me about the resistant feeling.

It’s like a feeling of … I don’t know. Let me start with what I do know: How it feels in my body.

Good that’s a great place to start.

Right now I feel it in my temples. There’s a big pressure, especially on the right side. I feel it down the back of my neck. Again more on the right side. My throat is constricted and my solar plexus, making it hard to take a deep breath… wow, just describing it started to move things. Huge sadness is in there. It’s like it’s embedded in my cells. Why does it come up when I’m doing the things I want to do? Why does it come and wallop me whenever I start really aligning with my purpose?

You tell me.

Come on. I could really use some help here.

You’re actually doing quite well on your own. Why does this resistance and sadness come in when you take a step closer to your true nature, to your source?

It knows that it will no longer be needed when I connect with my source.

Yes.

These primitive protection mechanisms have kept me safe, or so they have felt, but they’ve also kept me separated, disconnected from my source, from you.

Yes.

Survival mode kicks in when I take steps towards my true self and source.

Yes.

So how do I move through it? How do I continue to step more fully onto my true path without allowing this resistance to knock me off course?

Maybe you don’t.

What do you mean?

Maybe you continue to allow this resistance to knock you off course.

But why?

What you resist persists. Remember? Every time you feel this resistance it is an opportunity to drop deeper into acceptance. Every time you get knocked off course it is another chance for you to re-check your bearings and determine if you’re heading in the right direction. Every time you have the wind knocked out of you, it’s a chance to build your strength, to build your endurance, to get up and do it again.

Sounds fun.

Looks fun. Wish I could be doing it.

You are.

True.

I do get it. I even recognized it earlier today and last night when I feeling nervous about the teleclass. I knew that I was close to something big. I could tell that I was preparing to offer myself in a new, more fully authentic manner. And I could sense that there was resistance lurking in the background.

So now your work is to stop when you feel that and explore it before it comes out to whack you.

I thought you said it was ok if it whacked me.

It is ok. It’s downright fun to watch. And that doesn’t mean that you have to continue to get whacked. Trust me, there are plenty of other people who will pick up your paddle when you let go of it.

That’s reassuring. I guess I’ll be able to stay in business for a while.

Indeed.

Well thanks for the chat. It’s been quite helpful.

You are most welcome.

Comments

[mary blyth]

Aloha Edward,
Remember me? You helped me thru a tough time way back in the spring of 05 when i was trying to decided weather to buy the Birth Home in the east bay. I have since relocated to Hawaii. Enough about me, what i really want to say is first of all, HAPPY FATHER's DAY !!!! and secondly, i am sorry to see that your public conversation with God has gone on vacation or something? No expectations mind you, but i felt like saying again what a brilliant, beautiful, potent idea you manifested for however long....it was and is pure genius. I hope all is well with you and your family and that this blog was a good time for you while it lasted! Look me up if you ever come to Hawaii, the Big Island to be exact :-)
Be Well and prosper,
Mary

[Angela Chen Shui]

Edward,
Thank you for sharing this. It's authentic, real and heart-clearing.
Blessings,
Angela.

[Bob Kiser]

Edward:

WOW, thanks for posting these conversations. Here I was thinking I was the only one doing that in the privacy of my own home. LOL... When I spoke to the "coach" about the resistance after taking a step forward, funny I got the same answers...hmmm. Keep up the awesome work!! And thanks for your fearlessness of sharing your conversations with us.
Bob

[Bob Kiser]

Edward:

WOW, thanks for posting these conversations. Here I was thinking I was the only one doing that in the privacy of my own home. LOL... When I spoke to the "coach" about the resistance after taking a step forward, funny I got the same answers...hmmm. Keep up the awesome work!! And thanks for your fearlessness of sharing your conversations with us.
Bob

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[Voyeur Nipple Slips]

well.. it's like I said!

[Bobby]

I already knew it, but whatever thanks.
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