Coaching with God

July 28, 2005

Good morning God.

Good morning Edward.

How are you today?

I am quite well. Thank you for asking.

You’re welcome. I realized that I never check in to see how you’re doing. I’m sorry for that.

No need to be sorry. I’m here to coach you, remember?

Yes. And that doesn’t mean that there’s no room for me to ask how you’re doing.

True enough. And keep in mind that when you ask anyone how they are doing, you are, in fact asking me.

So if I ask a friend “How are you doing?” and they say, “crappy,” does that mean that you are doing crappy?

Yup.

But how can you be doing crappy? You’re God.

And God can’t have a bad day? God can’t feel frustrated, or sad, or angry?

No.

Why not?

Because . . . because you’re above all that. You’re, well, you’re God.

July 23, 2005

Hello God.

Hello Edward.

I’m stuck.

Are you stuck, or are you feeling stuck?

What’s the difference?

Stuck means there is no movement, feeling stuck means you are not acknowledging the movement that is occurring.

I think it’s feeling stuck then. There is some movement, but it seems to be movement down into some pretty dark sticky stuff. And I feel stuck down here.

Shift your focus from where you are to the movement you are experiencing.

But in this moment I don’t feel movement.

Well allow yourself to breathe and open to an awareness of the movement that is, indeed, happening.

July 21, 2005

Good morning God.

Good morning Edward.

My intention for today is to create, and to make my creations available to the world.

Wonderful.

I find it interesting though, that I have a hard time being more specific than that. Do I need to be?

Only if it will help you.

I think it will.

Well then, be more specific.

But then I start questioning whether or not the specific intentions I set are the right ones.

You can always change them later.

True, and there’s this part of me that doesn’t want to make a mistake, doesn’t want to waste my time. And yet, by not setting clear intentions I end up wasting lots of time since I’m not clear about what I want to do.

July 20, 2005

Hello God.

Hello Edward.

I’d like to continue the conversation we were having earlier.

Of course.

We were talking about how I seem to be so fixated on the need to do, the need to be active, the need to achieve, and that in being fixated I end up recoiling from the internal pressure, I end up reacting to it by avoiding it, by getting distracted. And you had asked me to look at why it’s so important for me to do, and as I explored that I realized, not for the first time, that my perception of my value is based on my ability to do to achieve to be active, and that stems from my inability to do what was necessary to get Joan to keep me, to not put me up for adoption. So, God, let me ask you this. Was there anything I could have done to change the outcome?

No.

That’s it, just ‘No?”

You asked a simple question, and I gave you a simple answer. And here’s a question back to you. Would you have wanted to change the outcome?

July 20, 2005

Hello God.

Hello Edward.

I just have a few minutes before the battery runs out on my laptop. I’ll continue later at the office.

That’s fine.

I want to talk about . .. well about what we were just talking about, my frustration at my inability to stay focused on the tasks that seem important to me. I just get sidetracked so easily. It seems very difficult to stay on task. I’m wondering what suggestions you have.

Let go of the need to be task oriented.

But then how will I get anything done?

Your purpose is not to get things done. Your purpose is to evolve. I seem to remember hearing that somewhere.

And yet, in this physical realm there is a need, or at least a perceived need to be active, to do, to accomplish tasks. Is that not true?

July 18, 2005

Good morning God.

Good morning Edward.

There is, as usual, way too much to talk about in our time together . . .

I would point out that our time together is infinite. So therefore it is impossible for there to be too much for us to talk about.

Ok. I’ll have to let that one sink in. And I’m actually not going to get distracted by that, as much as I am very intrigued by the idea. Perhaps you can remind of this again, at another time so that we can explore it a bit more.

I would be glad to.

Thanks. Today, though, I’d like to at least begin by talking about this opportunity to publish an essay in the “Healing the Heart of the World” anthology. Really what I’m looking for from you is the green light. I’m realizing that as I right this.

You never need a green light from me, because you always have a green light from me to do whatever you want.

July 10, 2005

Good morning God.

Good morning Edward.

Can we talk about relationships today?

We can talk about whatever you want.

Great. As you know I’ve begun this ritual process to release the old beliefs I hold about relationships, beliefs that have, up to now, caused my relationships to be filled with frustration, conflict, doubt, fear of betrayal, anger, mistrust, etc. Not the most fun-filled experience.

Doesn’t sound like it.

So I have recognized these old beliefs, beliefs that seem to come from even before I was born, my time in the womb when I was exposed to the doubt and confusion and anger and frustration and sadness of my biological mother. Those emotions and sensations seem to have embedded themselves within my psyche as the emotional and sensory content that is associated with relationship.

I can see the trouble.

July 6, 2005

Good morning God

Good morning Edward.

Well, as usual, there is quite a bit happening that we could talk about. But I think what I really want your coaching on is the audio project. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work I see ahead of me in the short term. I’d like your guidance and input as to priorities etc. And probably also just a bit of encouragement and inspiration to remind me that I’m on the right track. How does that sound?

Perfect.

Great. So maybe I can start by just voicing some of what I’m feeling piling up on my plate so that we can begin sifting through what needs to be on it and what can be put aside for the moment.

Lets do it.

June 30, 2005

Hello God

Hello Edward.

A lot has happened since last we spoke. You, of course, already know that. So I won’t bore you with the details. The piece I’d like coaching on today is around how to leave home stuff at home when I come into work. Can you help me with that?

I’ll certainly give it a shot.

Great. I’m noticing that I tend to come into the office carrying some resentment about what I perceive to be an unfair balance of responspilities in the home, particularly regarding time spent with Ella. Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love spending time with her. However, I’m feeling like I’m being asked to watch her quite a bit more than Melissa. And the last thing I want is to feel resentful when I’m with her. And more important, right now, is how do I let go of that feeling when I come into the office? It is really affecting my work. Because I feel like I’m spending “too much” time at home, I come into work already in a scarcity mode. I start my day feeling like I don’t have enough time, and that immediately spirals me down into a space of further procrastination. It’s a bizarre experience – I don’t have enough time, so I’ll do my best to waste what time I do have! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! So I’m open to your thoughts on this.

June 24, 2005

Good morning God.

Good morning Edward.

I’m going to try to do this with Ella here. I’ve got Ella duty all day today. So if I have to stop short, that’s why.

No worries.

I want to talk about a dream I had last night.

Go ahead.

The first scene was in a war, 40+ years ago. I was on a secret mission. I was in water, swimming, carrying a large torpedo that I launched onto a beach with lots of people. It was a devastating explosion, killing many people and crippling the war effort of the other side. Many years later, present time, I think, I was with a friend, and we were going to try to help unravel the mystery of that explosion. Apparently no one had ever figured out how it was done. I don’t think my friend knew that I had been the one that actually did it. He just knew that I had information about it. So as we were going to find people to talk with about it, I was struggling with the truth that I had actually been the one to drop the bomb, so to speak. And I clearly had not forgiven myself for what I had done. When I woke up from the dream, the first thing that struck me was the 40 years. Too much of a coincidence to be ignored. So it feels like I have not forgiven myself for something that happened around the time of my birth. And the obvious event that comes up is my adoption. . . Have to go, Ella calls! I’ll talk to you again soon.

I’ll be here.

Thank you.

You’re quite welcome.